How To Negotiate Your Salary – A Guide for Women (and Interested Men)

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

 

Did you negotiate your salary up the last time you started a job?  Have you negotiated your salary since?

I recently read that that only 7 percent of women negotiate their salaries up front when entering a new position, compared to 57 per cent of men.  I know enough underpaid women lawyers to believe that similar statistics will apply to lawyers.  Yet, women lawyers negotiate on behalf of others all the time.  We negotiate contracts, we negotiate settlement agreements, we negotiate great – for others.

Is it time to get past your discomfort and negotiate for yourself?

Here are some tips to help you negotiate salary.

  1. Decide what you want.  Think through what you want well in advance of this conversation.  Decide what points are Musts for you, and which points are wish list points.   That way you can let the other guy win, but on the points that are not as important to you.
  2. Track your achievements.  Have you ever noticed how men tend to routinely highlight their achievements, while women downplay theirs?  Even if you’re not comfortable yelling your achievements from the mountaintop, track them and be sure the decision makers know what you’ve accomplished.  By tracking your achievements, the negotiation will be about your value, and not about your wants.
  3. Ask for more than you think you can get, and don’t be afraid to ask again.  Remember that old adage – nothing ventured/nothing gained.  It’s tempting to say yes to the first offer (after all, it gets you out of this situation that is not a comfortable place for you) but think about if you can take one more bite out of the apple before accepting. Assess the situation,  the person making the offer, and how far you can go before having to sign on the dotted line.
  4. Negotiate with the person, not their power.  When you’re asking for a raise, you are likely to be negotiating with someone you perceive as more powerful than you.  Don’t get trapped negotiating with the power of the person instead of with the person.
  5. Keep it to yourself.  You may think that “between you and me I’d settle for X” comment you made to a colleague will stay confidential, and maybe it will.  But maybe it won’t.
  6. Put yourself in neutral.  One of the reasons we can negotiate for others more easily is we are not emotionally involved.  Leave your emotions at the door.  Try to appear detached, even if you’re not.  If you negotiate from a place of fear, or desperation, or even anger, your ability to be rational will be impacted and you’ll be susceptible to agreeing to unfavorable terms.
  7. Don’t be bullied.  Women can be taken aback by unexpected aggression or resistance.  If you find yourself in this situation, remind yourself that you have something of value to offer.  Don’t be afraid to demand respect.  And if you consistently don’t get it, it may be time to rethink whether you want to stay there.
  8. Don’t be guilted.  “How can you ask after all we’ve done for you” is not a reason to not get a raise you deserve.  And I usually find the reason they’ve done whatever they did do for you is because you’re so darn good at what you do – and that they’re still ahead of the game.

And finally, before you ask, be sure that you have separated ambition and greed.  Decide if you honestly want to advance, or just want more money.  Wanting more money isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can get you into trouble if it mires you deeper into a job you’re not passionate about and causes you to miss other opportunities that might be a better fit for you.

Ready?   Then go for it — you can definitely do this!

Achieving Goals – Why Power is More Important than Will Power

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

New Year’s Resolutions abound this time of year.   We resolve to lose weight, to get in shape, to network more, to look for a new job.   We resolve to change our path from where we don’t want to be to where we do want to be.  We start off committed to those resolutions, and yet by March, most of them have fallen by the wayside, and we remain on the same path, the path of where we don’t want to be.   The gym parking lot is crowded in January, empty in March.   We schedule networking lunches in December and January, and find our calendar empty in February or March.   We start checking out courses we might take to improve our skills in January, but get too busy.

Some say it’s just a question of will power;  that it’s will power that makes you stick to it and make it happen.   The problem is that will power doesn’t last.  The need to apply will power is a constant effort and struggle without another power – Why Power.   Authentic Why Power is not only strong, it’s unstoppable.

I found out about Why Power when I stopped smoking.  For many years, stop smoking had made it to the top of my New Year’s resolution lists, but my will power wouldn’t last very long. Until I got pregnant, and discovered Why Power.  The What – to stop smoking – stayed the same.  But the Why was a lot more powerful. Not only did I stop smoking, I was surprised at how much easier it was.

How do you get Why Power? You get Why Power by taking the time to identify not just the WHAT you want to accomplish, but the WHY you want it.  Ask yourself why this is important to you. Why Power separates things others say that you should do from the things that you truly want to/need to/have to do because of your values,  your beliefs,  your innermost desires. Why Power is what will motivate you to succeed.  If that Why is authentic and strong enough, then the what becomes easier. And if Why Power is there, the will power will be there waiting for you, without as much effort or struggle.

Whatever it is you want to do this year, whether it be to network more, build your client base, change your job, make more money or get in shape, take the time to find your Why Power. With Why Power, your 2012 New Year’s resolution will become your 2012 accomplishment.

 

 

Incredibly Effective Ways to Take Advantage of this Holiday Season for Personal Marketing – Part Two

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

The Holiday Season is a truly golden time to market yourself.   Part One told how you could take advantage of holiday events, holiday cards and how you could use this season to reconnect with contacts.  Whether you are looking to get more clients, a new job, or just to be way more successful where you are, here are some more incredibly effective ways to take advantage of this holiday season for your personal marketing success.

Set Up One on One Meetings.

You’re not the only one for whom things have slowed down.  This is a great time of year to set up a lunch or meet for a cup of coffee with contacts who don’t have time to meet with you during busier times of the year.  Take advantage of the fact that a lot of people are feeling generous this time of year, and may even be more willing to help.  Pick up the phone and ask -  you may be surprised at who will say yes to a one on one.

Take Advantage of Your Slow Time to Plan for 2012

When things are busy, it’s hard to find time to get out of react mode and into planning mode.  Take advantage of the slow time to create your personal marketing plan for 2012.  What do you want to do, be or have in 2012 and how do you market yourself – internally and externally – to get there?   This is a great time of year to re-evaluate your goals, think about your personal brand, and plan for your future.

 

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”Epictetus

 

Incredibly Effective Ways to Take Advantage of this Holiday Season for Personal Marketing – Part One

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Photo by Suat Eman

This is the time of year that things tend to slow down for many of us.  Whether you are looking for some new clients, looking for a new job, or just thinking about improving your position where you are, this is a golden time (maybe the best time of the year) to market yourself. Here are some amazing ways to take advantage of the holidays for your personal marketing success.

Reconnect with Lost Contacts.   Is there one or more contacts with whom you’ve lost touch? This is the time of year when you have several great excuses to reconnect with them.  It’s also a time of year most of your contacts will be in good moods and open to re-connecting!  Here are two easy seques you can use, but I’m sure you can think of more.

I was just going over my address book to send out some Christmas Cards and I was chagrined to realize how long it’s been – how are you doing? 

My New Year’s resolution is to do a better job of staying in touch with people I like, and I realized how long it’s been since you and I connected – what do you say we rectify that and get a lunch on the calendar?

Take Advantage of Holiday Events.   Holiday events are great networking opportunities.  The food is good, the egg nog is flowing, people are in holiday spirits, and if you put your focus on building relationships, you can get some excellent benefits.   Be sure that you spend time connecting with people that you don’t already know or re-energizing relationships that are not as strong as you would like them to be.  Remember that holiday events are not a time to make a pitch or even to talk extensively about what you do.  Instead, focus on getting to know the people you meet and on making a personal connection with them.  Then, be sure to follow up with your new contacts in the New Year.   Successful networkers know that networking isn’t about meeting people, but about developing and then maintaining relationships of trust.

Send Holiday Cards or Emails.    Holiday greetings are a great way to connect, re-connect, and stay at the top of your contacts’ mind.  But don’t waste time or money sending out the company card (or digital card) with the pre-printed signature and no personal message from you.  Here, personalization is really key.  Don’t believe me?  Just think of the difference in the way you feel when you get the holiday card with the printed signature versus the card where someone has taken the time to handwrite a message to you.  Technology can really help you save some time here, but the bottom line is that a holiday greeting that feels personalized will have way more impact and pay off than one that doesn’t.

Stay tuned for Part Two of Incredibly Effective Ways to Take Advantage of this Holiday Season for Personal Marketing

  “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” Epictetus

What Got You Here Won’t Keep You Here

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Have you recently reached a career goal?  Congratulations to you!  Definitely commend yourself for reaching your goal.  BUT also be forewarned.  It’s very easy to reach a goal and stay complacently in place, looking backwards instead of forward.  But what got you here won’t keep you here.  And what got you here definitely won’t get you to the next level.

This got brought home to me recently, when I met with a law firm partner of 20  plus years who looked and acted pretty much the way she looked and acted 15 years ago – or at least that was the first thing I thought when we met.  She was a walking example of someone who had frozen her personal brand in time – and what got her there won’t keep her there.   Playing the role of the smart, demure and attractive young lawyer really wasn’t working for her any more – and probably hadn’t been working for many years.

Her business development attempts hadn’t worked.  Her partners didn’t respect her.  She was worried about losing her job.  Even though I had only known her for a short period of time, none of that surprised me.   As all of us know, perception is more important than reality.  Even if she was a good litigator, the overall perception others had of her was holding her back.  Her failure to grow and develop her personal brand was holding her back.  Her failure to grow and to develop the new skillsets she needed to be successful as a partner– business development skills, leadership skills, client satisfaction skills, different higher level legal skills – was holding her back.   And her failure to take personal responsibility for her career was holding her back.

I had an in-house client in a similar situation –he got to a certain place and just wasn’t moving forward.   As we worked through several of the coaching exercises, we realized the issue was that he was viewed as a good lawyer, but not as a leader.   It took a while for him to change that perception, but by looking forward, and by strategically thinking about new skillsets and communicating a personal brand that included leadership elements, he did get the promotion he was looking for – and more.

None of us would try to drive forward looking at the rearview mirror instead of ahead, yet in our professional life,  many of us do exactly that.  Wherever you are today, look around, look ahead,  think about what you need to do.  Think about how you need to be thought of to be successful where you are – and to move forward.  What got you here was good – what will keep you here is even better.